Dank Basement Picnic
(15 minutes, 2024)
The idea for this EP started as a recurring, intensely detailed fantasy about an amateur porno movie shot on a VHS camcorder in an unfinished suburban basement. A doughy middle-aged man is recording from his seat in a black plastic recliner as his scrawny twink boyfriend crawls toward him on his hands and knees over the bare cement floor. They're both naked and pasty white. As the kid eagerly hovers over Daddy's limp weiner, the older man makes him wait as he upends a can of baked beans over his lap, covering his dick and balls in glistening brown slop. He adds to the beanpile a single dollop of potato salad. Then the kid buries his face in the mess and starts suckin'.
This fantasy expanded to include more food-based sex acts and characters, including a nasty old bitch who uses a corncob for a strap-on and a nude "wrestling match" in a kiddie pool full of canned ravioli. So the idea was ready and waiting for me when I had my annual crisis last year and needed a project to work on RIGHT NOW to keep myself busy. This would be the soundtrack for a porno movie that doesn't exist. I'd create most of the samples myself, doing foley work in the kitchen to make the slopping, slurping sound effects, and recruiting friends to record dialog so it wouldn't all be in my own voice. The artwork I'd capture using an old Panasonic OmniMovie, acting out scenes from the movie to make it as "real" as possible and giving the album cover a creepy, snuff-tape aesthetic.
Each song is based around a different character and food-fetish, starting with the baked bean blowjob and ending with puke for dessert. I was able to work in several different things I've been interested in recently, including the frequently bizarre recipes used to advertise condiments and canned meats in mid-century women's magazines, which is where SPAM Bean Bake gets its name. The FATALITY samples from ACID PUKE I recorded from my old PS1 to a VCR. That song doesn't really have much to do with the overall theme of the EP, being that it's a childish revenge fantasy about vomiting my disgust in the faces of my enemies, but it seemed like an appropriate way to end the thing.
TRACK LIST
1. SPAM Bean Bake
2. Canned Ravioli
3. Corn on the Cobb
4. ACID PUKE
Read the lyrics here.
Music Main Page