SPAM Bean Bake

(verse 1)

suck for your supper

a sloppy surprise

your knees on the concrete

your hands on my thighs

down in the rec room

in the cool air

my naked asscheeks

are sunk deep in the chair

across the cold floor

toward me you crawl

my suckling piglet

come suck on my balls

but where are my manners?

you are a guest

might i entice you

with some Bush's Best?

they brought the baked beans

i brought the bacon

here's what mouth-watering meal

we'll be makin'

a glistening wet mess

plopped in my lap

now lap up the juice

from the creases and flaps

a musical fruit salad

garnished with pubes

artfully arranged

around a beef-tube

like something from a 1960s

women's magazine

you can't have the weenie

without the beans

(chorus)

SPAM bean bake

the SPAM bean bake

this is what you get instead of birthday cake

it's your favorite

the flavor's fantastic

it's even better

than hotdogs in aspic

fucksake!

SPAM bean bake

white potato salad and a one-eyed snake

slinging slop all around

like a spastic

it's a good thing

the upholstery's plastic

(verse 2)

slurp up the tangy

homestyle sauce

if some gets spilled

it's no big loss

loose white flesh

smeared with brown

short and curlies

pasted down

droplets clinging

to my bush

from the frijoles

that we smush

with my flesh-pestle

in your mortar-mouth

refried beanage

spurting out

around the base of my dick

from your greasy lips

it'd make a good dip

did you bring any chips?

how 'bout my toenails?

they look about right

they're yellow enough

c'mon and take a bite

(verse 3)

swallow the sludgeload

guzzle the glop

lick me til i'm spick n' span

bottom to top

don't let a drop

go to waste

the lower half of your face

is caked in brown paste

smile for the camera

give us a wink

it's too bad the camcorder

won't record the stink

now that you're finished

with your snack

i've got dessert for you

around the back

i peel my sac

from the vinyl recliner

orange you glad

i don't have a vaginer?

pop the tape in the slot

and let's roll

that beautiful bean footage

of my pole

Canned Ravioli

(verse 1)

in the shadow of a pyramid

of empty cans

stands 240 lbs

of man

stuffed in a sexy

batman bikini

ready to grant my wish

like a genie

(chorus)

me and daddy

daddy and me

in a kiddie pool full of chef boyardee

feel it squish

between your toes

in your hair and up your nose

i can see

your hole-y moley

rolling in the ravioli

having a time

just a coupla guys

me and daddy

daddy and i

(verse 2)

underneath a flickering

fluorescent light

two combatants in a close-quarters

food fight

pasta rasslin'

and no holes barred

fun dinosaur shapes

decorate our nards

(verse 3)

splish splash

we're taking a bath

in a tub full of muck

as red as vodka's wrath

squeeze the beef filling

through your fists

and smear it on my lips

while i cease to resist

Corn on the Cobb

(verse 1)

POTLUCK/GANGFUCK

come on down

we're all in the basement

tiki lounge

we've got

the Panasonic and

some sex toys found

at a roadside stand

ears of corn

nature's dildos

light the charcoal, it's time

to grill those

with which your various holes

i'll be treating

they look delicious

but they're not for eating

just suckin and fuckin

so if you please

take out your dentures

get on your knees

(chorus)

corn on the cob

stuffed in your gob

it's not an adventure

it's just a fuckin job

punching in to work

in the sex basement again

and then margarine is trickling

from every chin

homegrown porn

covered in creamed corn

from the socket of Davis

or his asshole for sure

this is a picnic

and there's plenty of food

now bend over the barrel of lube

to get screwed

(verse 2)

my dried-out, used-up flesh

is bare

except for the sexy

underwear

a rubber cunt jock

with a cornholder clit

a DIY

strap-on kit

i'll strap on the biggest cob

in the bunch

spread those cheeks

it's time for lunch

here's a little something

to ease the way

i'll grease it up good

with the Squeeze Parkay

your asshole won't believe

it's not butter

cholesterol-free

i feed your turd-cutter

(verse 3)

if it stings some

it's my fault

before i put it in you

i rolled it in salt

it's that authentic

midwest flavor

your raw mucus membranes savor

hey

let's play

some cornhole

it's Deliverance

not DiGiorno

ass-juice

could fill a keg

your guts are gushing

as you beg

me to limit my abuses

to your rear end

you're saving your pussy

for your boyfriend

ACID PUKE

(verse 1)

you shut me up and shut me down with a smirk

flushing and stammering, my head doesn't work

your friends are laughing, i'm put in my place

and then i puke in your fucking face

(chorus)

ACID PUKE

(verse 2)

you take a hot shower in my spew

i hope you like your new shampoo

there's plenty tears when it gets in your eyes

your eyes are melting as you cry

(verse 3)

the smell is sour, but revenge is sweet

you're gonna find out "how does Brendlefly eat?"

today we learned about Vomit Drop

and now you look like that one guy from RoboCop

(verse 4)

they'll need a mop and bucket for the mess that you make

it makes sense your skin is peeling off because you're a snake

hiss, blister, bubble and steam

as your larynx liquifies you manage to scream

"i'm melting! i'm melting!" and there goes your jaw

soon i could drink you up with a straw

i'm sure you thought that it was just a fluke

when your fortune cookie told you "there will be puke"