(31 minutes, 2021)

This album is a time machine dialed for the year 2001 CE, when the internet was a sort of perpetual novelty machine in a magic box instead of an electronic devil that follows you everywhere and spies on your bowel movements. Opening your Web browser was like entering a parallel dimension where your identity could change with each person you talked to and nothing you said would follow you offline. You could be your worst version of yourself, take extreme misanthropic stances that would alienate a serial killer, and have no fear of real-world consequences. I WANT TO GO BACK.

The songs follow a man who dreams of becoming an infamous shock image on; a scheme to alter recent history by planting subliminal messages on '90s porn sites; a virtual reality experiment gone terribly wrong thanks to crudely-rendered CG tits; and a boy who makes a very naughty .gif animation of Our Savior eating babies. And then a bunch more bad stuff happens.

It is to your ears what hello.jpg was to your eyeballs at age 13 when a seemingly-harmless link to something called "goat sex" murdered your sense of decency forever. It will fuck up your values and damage the sex-centers of your brain so you start jacking off to autopsy videos. You will turn into me, and you'll like it.

If any of that sounds good to you, then take a trip to my bandcamp page and give me your money.


1. Syndrome Shock

2. Toxic Megapenis

3. Half-Chub Time Machine

4. Song of the Cybershaman


6. God's Grampaw

7. Christ Consuming the Unborn

8. Santa Snow Suicide

Read the lyrics here.

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