Torture Daddy's Dick

torture daddy's dick

in the toolshed

putting lit cigarettes out

on the tip of his dickhead

two packs

with his lap for an ashtray

get the power drill

when it's time for some ass-play

here's your reward

for my happy childhood

when the vice grips your sack

does that feel good?

you remember that fishing trip

we took?

now there's a different kind of worm

on my hook

i reel in the line when

i feel a bite

i yank and pull,

but he's got some fight

sorry to say your son's

a cocksucker

i'll suck your cock off with a shop vac

YOU MOTHERFUCKER

torture daddy's dick

in the basement

staple live rats to his crotch

as a scrotum replacement

leave him in the dark

as they chew themselves free

this is what he gets

for begetting me

this is my thanks

for birthdays and ice cream

games of catch

and cheering me at swim team

here's a new game

that i'll teach to you

i'll be herr doktor

you be the jew

you'll find it hard to call

your son a sicko

with a red-hot needle

in your dickho'

i promise that i'll take it out,

but i kid ya

you didn't pull out either,

now did ya?

torture daddy's dick

in the church van

show him how this straightened-out

coathanger fits into God's plan

they're not just

for backyard abortions

wait'll you see what they do

to this foreskin

The Asshole Fuckface Massacre

(verse 1 )

you come home

from your office job

to sit on the couch

and rotate your knob

didn't take much

to make you go NBK

you just stubbed your toe

one day

so you called in sick

and went to the store

a little boutique

called AK's N'More

next day, you'll tell the boss

you quit

and cut him down

like an Arab girl's clit

a K-Mart ninja

you'll stalk the halls

in tactical gear

you got from the mall

dressed like a Columbine

commando

you got any tater tots

in those cargos?

(chorus)

look-look-lookit

look at how dumb

you look when you

come through the door with your gun

hu-huh hu-huh-huh

this is your revenge

on coworkers, enemies, and old friends

they'll wish they weren't so

unfair and so mean

now that you're an ultra

killing machine

you try to say something

cool and bad-ass

but you stut-stut-stutter

like back in speech class

(verse 2)

your supervisor

won't mind the gun

since you brought enough to share

with everyone

hundreds of rounds

enough so HR

will have to hire more temps

than fit in a clown car

despite the horror

of the bloodbath

when you trip and fall down

the survivors all laugh

so GIVE them something

to laugh about

but it's five PM

--time to Glock out

now put a .40 caliber

hole in your head

we'll hate you even more

when you're dead

before the police

arrive on scene

we'll rearrange your body

in postures obscene

(bridge)

you think this is your legacy,

that nobody will soon forget

but after the next killing spree

no one will remember it

when you bite down on the barrel,

will you be filled with regret?

i'll bet that when you shoot yourself

you fill your cargo pants with shit

Anal Virgin Sacrifice

(chorus)

on the altar of satanic sodomy

sacrifice your anal virginity

get me behind you, and up inside of thee

deep enough for a back-brain lobotomy

(verse 1)

to worship gay satan,

you needn't be gay

just open new lanes

on your hershey highway

in the garden of infernal

delights you'd play

your little brown button's

the coin you must pay

to prove your devotion

there won't be no lotion

the sceptre is hairy

it ruptures your cherry

(verse 2)

beelzebutt-fucker

does not want your soul

he covets the treasure

you hide in your hole

on the highway to

homo hell, pay the toll

just make like a fireman

and slide down the pole

his pecker is risen

pretend you're in prison

you will be reborn

when your asshole is torn